I'm writing music
I'm playing songs with awesome people
I finally got here, in a band.

All the equipment you bought me, Dad,
is going to use now
and I expect this to lead to fantastic things.

Euphoric, for the moment.

I anticipated this break being agonizing,

making me hate my life due to the diminishing of friends

the fact that home reminds me of so many painful things

and 4 whole weeks of free time

but

i became enveloped in a new (but old) group

met so many people who are more like me

saved maybe 10 new contacts

got an internship in the city

(which i can tell is gonna be crazy,

but definitely an experience)

explored

and began figuring out who i want to be

and that i'm in a great position

now I get to go back to Purch tomorrow for good

and see a bunch of people that I've missed this month

get back into the studio and the painting family

go to shows all the time (which i miss like crazy)

and be happy still, just an hour away from here

it's crazy to think that this past month might have been

the last long time period I'll have lived in this house

of 21 years.

I began to read The Stranger for the third time

because I think it's a fantastic book

but it starts off with him at the funeral home

because his mother just died

and I started running through my head the events

that occurred during the hospital stay

and how I was trying to fall asleep on the big chair next

to the hospital bed

but every few seconds I'd think of something that

I'd never get to do with my dad again

or something I'd never be able to tell him about

and I'd moan like a crazy person

and I really want to tell someone else the whole story again